


jeg elsker deg også

by kibousuru



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Hetalia Countries Using Human Names, Historical References, I might edit this a bit more later, Kind of an explanation of their relationship in a way, M/M, Probably somewhat ooc, Stream of Consciousness, We love writing fics for a character's birthdays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-07 01:22:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18862870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kibousuru/pseuds/kibousuru
Summary: "jeg elsker dig."it's not the first time matthias has said he loves him, nor will it be the last. lukas knows one day, he'll be able to say it back."jeg elsker deg også."





	jeg elsker deg også

**Author's Note:**

> I finally wrote something for a character's birthday and honestly it feels so nice- I've also been dragged back into hetalia hell and I'm really not minding it. I haven't been in the fandom since junior year of high school and here I am, just having finished my first year of college, writing a dennor fic bc I'm weak  
> anyway, this mess has a mix of headcanons and actual historical events in it, all of the latter being listed in the bottom notes  
> 

"Jeg elsker dig."

It's not the first time Lukas has heard the words from Matthias, and he knows it won't be the last. Their relationship had always been hard to define, bordering on a friendship and something more than Lukas often chose to acknowledge. Still, he knows Matthias means a lot to him, even if he doesn't show it well.

No matter how many times Matthias has told him that he loves him, Lukas doesn't think he'll get used to it. He doesn't understand it, if he's honest. Matthias is bright and happy and friendly, and, well, Lukas seems to be everything but that.

But, he's seen Matthias at his worst; Matthias has seen him at his worst too. It's a byproduct of having lived together for centuries, Lukas figures. He's been there during the times when Matthias was brash and bossy, and was still there when he eventually mellowed out, keeping his energetic personality in tact.

Sometimes, Lukas wonders if he himself has changed over the years like that. He knows that he must have, but he can't point out anything. He's still as insecure, anti-social, and horrible with other people as he's always been. Emotions are still hard, as are the times when he's expected to properly express what he's feeling. What surprises him the most is that Matthias never complains about it. In fact, the Dane had only taken the time to be able to understand each and every one of his social cues and parts of his body language, eventually coming to be able to define what each tiny difference in his facial expression meant. Sometimes, Lukas thinks Matthias knows himself better than he does.

Matthias knows when he doesn't want to be touched as physical contact had never been one of Lukas' favorite things (though, he isn't always put off by a friendly arm over his shoulder anymore thanks to Matthias). He respects Lukas' space, not wanting to bother him. Lukas didn't notice it at first, but Matthias had started to restrict himself in physical contact. The Norwegian appreciated it, even more so when the Dane knew when it was a good time to initiate a hug or to grab onto his hand.

He knows when Lukas is having a bad day, compared to him just being moody or something along those lines. Matthias doesn't mind listening to him talk about what's bothering him, even if he's reluctant at first; even if it takes hours to go through it all. Of course, Lukas extends the invitation for when Matthias isn't having a good day, though the latter usually finds comfort in clinging onto Lukas whenever he isn't feeling like himself rather than talking it out. (Not like Lukas would admit it - he knows Matthias understands - but he doesn't mind helping his friend, or whatever they were at this point, on those days.)

There's things that only the two of them know about each other. Lukas has found that Matthias was an excellent secret keeper - they were each other's strongest allies, the best confidants when they needed one. He's fairly certain that only Matthias has heard him laugh, like really laugh, not just a snort or huff of air that could be considered amusement. Unlike the louder laughs he gave when drunk, Lukas' laugh is high and comes out in strange, little hiccup-y noises which was incredibly unattractive and strange if you asked him. Matthias disagreed with that opinion, having blurted out something along the lines of, "Your laugh is cute, Luke," the first time he heard it.

Lukas knows that Matthias likes to be the little spoon, not that he can really judge him for that. They share a bed more often than not when they're staying in the same building. Lukas tells himself it's something from all the years they had been living together, when everyone had been living together, and the five of them would squeeze into one bed to get through the freezing northern winters. During those nights where it's the two of them, he finds himself curling up behind Matthias before wrapping an arm around the Dane's side. They would stay like that for most of the night, and on some nights, Matthias would take on the role of the big spoon. (Lukas has never told him, but he finds that he often sleeps better with Matthias there.)

There are other secrets they know, ones that aren't as soft and sweet as those. For instance, Matthias feels guilty for everyone splitting apart. Sure, his attitude, Lukas thinks, did have a bit of sway in the end of the Kalmar Union, but Berwald had never been on good terms with Matthias. And, it hadn't been Matthias' fault when Berwald ended up losing Tino to Ivan centuries later. No matter how many times Lukas has told Matthias that him being forced to leave and join Berwald is not his fault, it never seems to get through the Dane's thick skull. He just wishes that they were on better terms when he left; Lukas also wishes that he had picked a better time to accept the feelings he had towards Matthias at that time too. (Sometimes Lukas wonders what they'd be if Berwald never took him away. Would he still be independent or would he still be part of the Dano-Norwegian Union? He figures he'd still have fought for his independence, but where would that leave their relationship?) Matthias' guilt from everyone leaving only comes back in the form of trying to be as brotherly and warm to them now, afraid of losing them again.

Lukas, rather than express his emotions like a 'normal' person, would bottle them up. It had always been easier that way, though it was probably not the best idea. He still remembers the first time he cried in front of Matthias. He can't recall the exact year or the exact reason anymore, but he does remember the way the Dane floundered, stuck somewhere between extending his arms to hug him and keeping his distance, unsure of how Lukas would react. The memory makes him smile now, glad to see how far they've grown since then. Annoyed at the time from Matthias shifting awkwardly on his feet, his eyes pointedly staring in a different direction, Lukas had grabbed onto the blond to hide his face in his shoulder. He could feel Matthias jump slightly, having been surprised by Lukas' arms around his torso, before the Dane's arms wrap back around him. Emotions had always been hard, but for that moment as Matthias whispered kind things into his hair, his hand gently rubbing circles into Lukas' back until his quiet sobs turned into shuddered breaths, it seemed easier.

Looking back on it, it was probably the first time he showed an emotion that wasn't annoyance or distaste to Matthias, so he can't blame him for being so out of his element. (Still, they didn't talk about that moment for a while, and Lukas was grateful for that. Even after the fact, he was flustered about crying in front of someone.) And, after the fact, Matthias gave him a small smile, still having his arms carefully wrapped around him as if Lukas would hit him away at any moment. The Norwegian sniffled pathetically and swiped at his eyes before meeting Matthias' gaze for a second before looking away. He had mumbled out an apology, still not moving out of the Dane's hold. Matthias tightened his hold, giving him more of an actual hug than just comforting him. It's probably then that Lukas realized he could trust Matthias, and maybe he already did. After all, he had just broken down and clung to him.

There are things they keep secret for each other that most likely wouldn't consider sharing with others, but that's how they've been for centuries now. They seal the promise to keep these secrets in hands held under tables during meetings and with occasional quick, light kisses in the quiet of an empty hallway. Lukas isn't sure when exactly it had come to that, but he didn't feel himself minding it too much. That and it's not like they act very couple-y often, nor did they do much more than kiss sometimes or hold hands, leaning against each other as they watched whatever random movie Matthias insisted they watch. Lukas had never been one for a lot of physical affection, but he had to admit that it was still nice most of the time.

They've been with each other through thick and thin. They've seen each other at their worst; they've held the other during a breakdown and fought with each other when there were pent up frustrations. They have each other's backs, no matter how dumb an issue could be (he'd rather not think of the butter crisis), unless their governments disagreed. Not like that's ever stopped them from being autonomous beings, something separate from the land they represented.

Even after all they've been through, Lukas finds it hard to say the words Matthias says so easily. Nevertheless, he knows he'll be able to say it back one day - after all, Lukas means it, he has for a while now. (Maybe he'd say it after pressing a kiss to the corner of Matthias' smile so, rather than staring expectantly at Matthias, he'd be the first to initiate something. (Of course, Lukas has kissed Matthias first on a fair amount of occasions, but it always seemed nicer when the Dane would bend down just slightly to press their lips together in the way that never failed to make Lukas' stomach flutter nicely.) Honestly, he thinks it would be kind of funny to see the surprised but still ecstatic look on Matthias' face when he finally says the words:)

"Jeg elsker deg også."

**Author's Note:**

> Historical References:  
> 1\. Kalmar Union (1397-1521): A union between Denmark, Sweden, and Norway (also including the land they owned like Finland, Iceland, Greenland, etc) - it ended when Sweden and Finland split and left once and for all, having left and rejoined the union a few times  
> 2\. Denmark-Norway: a union between Den and Nor, lasting from 1523-1814 when Norway was forced to join Sweden  
> 3\. Sweden-Norway: after losing Finland to Russia in 1805, Sweden was looking for compensation. Since Denmark-Norway had an alliance with Napoleonic France at the time, the UK and Russia allowed for the Treaty of Kiel in 1814, which thus forced the King of Denmark-Norway to cede Norway to the King of Sweden - of course, Norway didn't go without a fight, they refused to go along with treaty provisions and declared independence, but it was still annexed into the Swedish Kingdom  
> 4\. May 17, 1814: the day the new Constitution of Norway was adopted - is celebrated as the Norwegian independence day, or rather, Constitution Day  
> 5\. "...wishes they were on better terms when he left...": In canon, or at least according to a post on Hima's blog, Matthias threw a 'childish tantrum' after Lukas left, 'cutting their ties and decreasing goodwill towards him'  
> 6\. Norwegian Butter Crisis: my favorite recent history event- in 2011, the country ran out of butter around Christmas. Since the country is so cold, butter is a big part of the diet there, especially for Christmas. In the end, Denmark sent butter like a good friend - there is a canon interpretation of this (I'll link it when I'm on my laptop)
> 
> Honestly, if you've read this far, congrats- even though the fandom is still alive and kicking, which lowkey surprised me, I feel like no one will read this- yall might see me again soon giving more love to my bois bc I have ideas and finally time to write


End file.
